Let's talk teeth.

Okey doke. Let's talk teeth. Rotting, decaying, falling out of your head kinda teeth. I'll try not to get too graphic now kiddies, this is supposed to be a humorous blog. No need to bring you all down into the murky depths of my trip. I've got a positive attitude, but I've got to find a way to get a buttload of money before they all come breaking out of my mouth. Granted it's only my third posting, but I've got a good feeling about this one. I'm gonna break some new ground here. I would've started this sooner, but I had to get caught up on my Venture Brothers season 4. I love that show. Just have to restrain myself from writing in their style.
     I don't know when it was exactly that I started neglecting my dental hygiene. Probably sometime during college, or shortly after they kicked me out and my drinking took on a life of its' own. I grew up with braces for cryin' out loud, so I knew how to take care of my teeth. Now my mom is sooo glad she invested all that money in my grill when I was a kid. I think I probably just stopped caring at some point. Sure I brushed, but not always on a daily basis. I was young, I thought I'd live forever. Never thought about mortality or the finiteness of life. Didn't think there'd actually be an end. "Don't you worry your pretty little head about the ivories. Just pass a brush over 'em a couple of times a week or so and you'll be fine. You'll never fall apart or get old.", I somehow told myself. "Have another drink. You'll be fine!" Ah, the folly of youth. Fast forward 20 years and you see the results of neglect and abuse. Not a pretty sight my friends.
     The first thing I had to do was see a dentist, but when I first moved here to the Chicago area a couple of years ago, I only had the crappy restaurant job that had no insurance, so that was out of the question at the time. Also I hadn't quit drinking until months after I moved here, and I just wasn't interested in much of anything until I did. I finally got the good job one year ago from now, and just got the dental appointment taken care of about 2 months ago. I'm a bit of a procrastinator. I'm workin' on that. Old bad habits take a little time to break. The dentist told me that all hope was lost for my original teeth, and full mouth implants were going to cost me around $75,000. That's right, you read that number correctly. I just about dropped a load right there on the dentists recliner from the shock. Where in the hell would I get that kind of money? Criminy. Well I knew of another option out there that I had seen on television about a year before. A company by the name of Clear Choice that specializes in, and only performs dental implant procedures. They have a free consultation and CT scan of your mouth. It's kind of like an MRI that gives them a 3-D image of the entire mouth. The prognosis was the same as the dentist, but the price was almost half as much. You can find them on the web at http://www.clearchoice.com/index.aspx. After an extensive consultation with their point man, (also named Jeffrey), a short video and a meeting with the resident prosthodontist, we did a couple of inquiries into getting me financing through the two lending institutions they work with. Unsurprisingly I was denied by both, and we only checked on the half-procedure option. Full mouth is $40,000; bottom half and a full upper denture is about $20,000. I'm pretty much screwed.
     But I'm not giving up by God! Where there's a will, there's a way! I will have new teeth! There's another company out there I'm going to make an appointment with today for next week called Eon Clinics. They do the same thing as Clear Choice. Here's their  link:http://www.eonclinics.com/locations/index.html. They also have the free consultation and CT-scan. I'm pretty sure they'll be telling me the same thing, but I'd like to get another opinion, and maybe I'll qualify with their lender. Highly doubtful, but what the hell. A couple of others I've found are University Associates in Dentistry at, http://www.uadchicago.com/, and University Dental Associates at, http://www.universitydentalassociates.com/. Simialar names, but different companies. Interesting how these companies are becoming more commonplace. Kind of makes you wonder about the oral health of our country. Not very good is my guess.
     Another option I discussed with my brother just this morning is getting the work done abroad for a fraction of the cost. Here's a blog address and a couple of other sites I just found: http://toothdentalimplants.blogspot.com/, http://hubpages.com/hub/Free-Dental-Implants-Info, http://www.dentalinsurancecare.com/free-dental-implants.html
     http://www.treatmentabroad.com/cosmetic-dentistry-abroad/hungary/. Those are just a few. There's others out there, but beware of scams. I'm learning all this as I go. Next I need to check with Dental Schools. There might be something there as well.
     I'm starting to feel a little overwhelmed. I just searched for dental tourism, and dental universities. There are many choices, and I'm going to have to spend some major time figuring out what exactly to do. It's going to take a lot of research. I like the dental tourism idea, but you gotta be careful. I don't wanna get sucked into some scam. Take a vacation and get my teeth fixed at the same time. I like it.
     Time to say goodbye for now. I'm all tapped out for this post. I need to get something done around the house as well. I think I'll make some split pea soup in the crock pot. Yum. Take care and remember, brush your teeth and pay your bills on time!