First, a quick history. I was a cook/chef for over 25 years, until two years after a near-fatal car accident in 2011. I went from a kitchen to an office for the next 6 1/2 years. My body could no longer handle the physical pressures of the job. During that time, the idea of my mortality became something that I realized was far more imminent than I had ever given thought to before. Up until that point, which was somewhere in my forties, I had lived a rather devil-may-care, live-for-the-moment kind of existence. Avoid pain, seek pleasure, and go to work. Even with kids, this attitude didn't change. Now, for the record, part of my history is addiction. A big part. Through a combination of inherited genes, social pressure, food service culture, and a lack of personal boundaries and discipline, I was a drunk with a Peter Pan complex for many years. Until my Dad died, then two years later I got in a near-fatal car accident. Those two things woke me up. I may have spoken of this in my earlier entries, but I didn't go back and read them. Be that as it may, my life started to change for the better.
When I started working at the office, I found that I could listen to YouTube videos on my work computer. I listened to science, news, history, various podcasts, and plenty of other stuff. That was all well and good, but in my new state of mind towards life, I decided that I wanted to improve myself. I wanted to be better at running my life, and learn how to be successful enough so that money was no longer something I had to stress over. Which it definitely did at that time. So I started to listen to Tony Robbins, the most widely known self-help, motivational speaker in the world. As I listened and started to piece together and subsequently understand his approach, I realized that he was about "personal development", not motivation. Motivation is just one piece of an intricate puzzle that is Personal Development. There's a lot more to it, and there are a lot more people than Tony Robbins that are preaching this particular gospel.
As I'm sure you're aware as a consumer of social media, that algorithms bring you more of what you like and watch. So of course YouTube started sending me many more speakers from the same school of thought as Mr. Robbins. People like Les Brown, Bob Proctor, Mel Robbins, Gary Vaynerchuck, Earl Nightengale, Zig Zigler, and the Grand Daddy of them all, Napolean Hill. And there's more, a veritable 31 flavors of personal development speakers and coaches destined to connect with at least one group of people. And with a growing number of newcomers in the field. The internet seems to encourage and foment the proliferation of this career path. This is fine in and of itself but be warned that like many other "movements" that come about from the commercialization and monetization of an idea through such media outlets like the movie, "The Secret", (in this case), it can quickly be written off as just another get-rich-quick scheme by the naysayers. The eventual scammers looking to make a quick buck off the rubes and the ill-informed tend to hasten the demise of such idealistic endeavors, relegating the ideals to the scrap-heap of crazy ideas and crack-pot swindlers.
As idealistic as I am, I also try to be a realist. So when I listen to these speakers, the reputable ones that is, I take in what they're saying knowing full well that it will require a butt-ton of work and determination on my part if I'm going to use their strategies to help me in my journey. You don't just push a button on your website and the money starts flowing into your coffers. It takes work. Every day. There is no easy path. And it takes time. Which brings me to the next step in my journey. Total immersion into the subject.
Every day, at work and at home, I listened to these speakers. On my way to work in the morning, at work, on the drive home, after work, and while I slept. I soon got the idea of subliminal conditioning as well. So I looked on YouTube, and lo and behold, you can get subliminal messaging on just about any subject behind nature sounds or ambient music, or whatever you can find. I would play this overnight, AND in the background behind whatever speaker I was listening to at work. After about 9 months or so I noticed a change in the way I looked at the world. My perception and attitude was changing. I was starting to see more of the possibilities in the world around me, and fewer hurdles. And the hurdles I did encounter started to get easier to overcome as well. They have become challenges to learn from rather than overwhelming and fearful monsters. Lessons to take with me in life that will help to keep me on my path.
Over the next 5 1/2 years or so lots of things came and went in my life But I did decide on what I wanted out of my life, and I wrote it down. And I've been moving in that direction ever since. Progress has been slow, with some setbacks. Self-inflicted more than not, but I'm learning, ever iterating. I moved to Colorado from Illinois once my kids were old enough for me to, living with my brother and his family. The original plans when I moved were drastically changed because of the Covid-19 Pandemic, and living with family proved to be more challenging than I had anticipated. After 6 months, I moved to Albuquerque to room at a friend's house that needed someone as a renter until the first of the year, January 2021. That didn't work out. I left 2 months early. Not before totaling my car on the way to get a hitch to haul a trailer with my stuff. That was fun. I took the insurance money and bought a pickup truck and a 25-foot trailer. I headed for Arizona on the first of November. My Niece lives in Phoenix. I stayed there for 2 months getting used to RV living, staying at a County Park, and an RV Park on Lake Pleasant, North of Phoenix. My two cats got out the first night there, and the boy, Oliver, was killed and eaten by a predator. My cats were indoor/outdoor cats, but I failed to realize I was in a wild place. He was a white, long hair male on a clear moonlit night. He didn't stand a chance. My other cat, Mavis, survived. She is a ninja. Short-haired, charcoal-colored. I was devastated at his loss, but have moved on.
I was back in Colorado for the holidays, repairs on my truck, and for my license plates for the trailer as well. I then headed to Lake Mead for a month to finish up my RV remodeling. I took out the Queen sized bed and made the bedroom an office/bedroom. I also removed one of the dinette booths and replaced it with a bench for storing shoes and boots and winter hats and gloves. I needed to streamline and make this rig my own. Now it is, and it's suited much better to my needs. Which is to be my online work from home space.
I am currently in Southern California, and slowly getting into my new daily work schedule. It's not easy with the discipline, but I'm getting better. Sometimes it's just a switch I turn on or off in my head that will get me moving. But I don't always choose to use it for some reason. It's kind of like getting an old engine started back up. It still works, but I think I mighta flooded it. And by flooded it, I mean procrastination. Not with the writing so much, but with the online work I've chosen for myself. The work I need to be spending 8 to 10 hours a day on right now. The work that will eventually be paying the bills. Total immersion. See that? Full circle baby!
So that's where I'm at. The learning curve isn't too terribly steep, but it's pretty damn long. I've got a LOT to learn. But I will. And I will figure it out. Every day. Bit by bit. ~ JVD 8^)
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