Friendship & Narcissism don't mix

 If you don't know the classical definition of a narcissist please go look it up real quick. I'll wait for you here. Take your time, I've literally got all day. 

Ok, all set? Right on. Just to be clear though, I won't be speaking of your run-of-the-mill, borderline, narcissistic personality disorder. No sir. Or ma'am, whichever the case may be. No judgment. We'll speak to the more damaging version of it that can border on psychosis, with the right person in the right frame of mind.  Toxic behavior for all parties involved. 

I had a friend like that. A very good friend that I love like a sibling. We had a lot of fun together over the years. Just about 25 years of fun to be precise. And, as it turns out, abusive behavior towards me that I didn't realize was as toxic and damaging as it was. Not until after I had a couple of years under my belt of YouTube therapy, personal development, and sobriety did I really start to notice that the way I was being treated was incredibly disrespectful. And mean. And vindictive. Which I never really saw. I always gave them the benefit of the doubt. I knew they had issues, so I would let them vent all over me. (eww, gross) I'm a listener and an empathic personality. They fed off my energy, and I finally woke up to it when I was condescended to one too many times. I communicated with them how I felt, that friends don't treat friends like this. They are supposed to support each other. This person responded by doubling down, insulting me, and disregarding my feelings. I sent one more message to be perfectly clear what my grievance was, and I was met with silence. Two days ago in the early evening, 3 months after letting them go, I missed a call from them. They left no voice message or text. I am assuming this was a drunken, nostalgia call. They may have hung up as soon as it rang, I don't know, and frankly, I don't care. If they don't leave a message, then I guess they don't really want to talk. 

That's the shortened version of the story of my friend. I won't get into all the nitty-gritty details because that would be a waste of everyone's time. Suffice it to say, this person blamed everyone but themselves for all of their problems, regularly lied to me, (either by omission or just blatantly, discovered later through other parties), highly judgemental and controlling, manipulative, and downright mean and nasty when inebriated. Which is often. Or at least it was. As I said, we haven't spoken in almost three months. Then a call two days ago. 

I feel the tug and call of my better angels, exhorting me to call them back, maybe just a quick text... But my age and slightly jaded temperament have allied to fortify my resolve against the temptation of those angels, knowing full well the history and M.O. of this old 'friend'. I've been sung the sweet songs of enlightenment and productivity before, only to be dashed on the rocky shores of apathy, complacency, and drunken resolve. Negativity and sadness are the soundtracks to this person's life. A life that sadly will probably never change for the better. They will just become more of who they are, digging deeper into an abyss of their own creation. Pushing all Love away, giving in to pride, which of course is ego. "Poor, pitiful me. Nobody loves me. It's not fair! I want more!" All I got to say to that is, stop asking what the world can give you, and start figuring out what you can give to the world. Start being grateful for what you have, and stop complaining about what you don't. 

I have learned that abuse is never ok. Especially from a friend or loved one. You gotta nip that shit in the bud. Confront the issue immediately and find out where you stand in that person's life. Don't let yourself be their doormat. You are a vital human being that brings value to the world, and we need you, just as you are. No one else has your talents and abilities. You're fucking special, and you matter. So if anybody tries to tell you otherwise, or tries to control you or suck your life energy away from you, don't let 'em. You tell them no. They either treat you right or keep on walkin'. 

I could say that I wish I would have learned these lessons 20 or 30 years ago, but the fact is I'm learning them here and now, and they will help me to be a better person, and to keep me moving forward. I hate losing a dear friend, but I will no longer be shit on. I wouldn't tolerate it from a stranger, so why would I tolerate it from someone that professes to love me? You get to a point in life where you learn to say no, and you learn to do what's good for you. And you can either listen to your wisdom and grow and get better, or you can stick your head in the sand and wait for the inevitable tsunami of pain. It's up to you. You always have a choice. I hope you find value in this. Thanks and take care. ~ JVD       8^)

Learning Curve

This is the blog I was going to write first, before the one about the Fairness Doctrine and White Supremacy. This blog was supposed to be about my learning curve in regards to starting a new career, that I am slowly piecing together. In an RV. Currently in Southern California in Canyon Country, Santa Clarita. And so it shall be. Can I get an Amen? 

First, a quick history. I was a cook/chef for over 25 years, until two years after a near-fatal car accident in 2011. I went from a kitchen to an office for the next 6 1/2 years. My body could no longer handle the physical pressures of the job. During that time, the idea of my mortality became something that I realized was far more imminent than I had ever given thought to before. Up until that point, which was somewhere in my forties, I had lived a rather devil-may-care, live-for-the-moment kind of existence. Avoid pain, seek pleasure, and go to work. Even with kids, this attitude didn't change. Now, for the record, part of my history is addiction. A big part. Through a combination of inherited genes, social pressure, food service culture, and a lack of personal boundaries and discipline, I was a drunk with a Peter Pan complex for many years. Until my Dad died, then two years later I got in a near-fatal car accident. Those two things woke me up. I may have spoken of this in my earlier entries, but I didn't go back and read them. Be that as it may, my life started to change for the better.

When I started working at the office, I found that I could listen to YouTube videos on my work computer. I listened to science, news, history, various podcasts, and plenty of other stuff. That was all well and good, but in my new state of mind towards life, I decided that I wanted to improve myself. I wanted to be better at running my life, and learn how to be successful enough so that money was no longer something I had to stress over. Which it definitely did at that time. So I started to listen to Tony Robbins, the most widely known self-help, motivational speaker in the world. As I listened and started to piece together and subsequently understand his approach, I realized that he was about "personal development", not motivation. Motivation is just one piece of an intricate puzzle that is Personal Development. There's a lot more to it, and there are a lot more people than Tony Robbins that are preaching this particular gospel. 

As I'm sure you're aware as a consumer of social media, that algorithms bring you more of what you like and watch. So of course YouTube started sending me many more speakers from the same school of thought as Mr. Robbins. People like Les Brown, Bob Proctor, Mel Robbins, Gary Vaynerchuck, Earl Nightengale, Zig Zigler, and the Grand Daddy of them all, Napolean Hill. And there's more, a veritable 31 flavors of personal development speakers and coaches destined to connect with at least one group of people. And with a growing number of newcomers in the field.  The internet seems to encourage and foment the proliferation of this career path. This is fine in and of itself but be warned that like many other "movements" that come about from the commercialization and monetization of an idea through such media outlets like the movie, "The Secret", (in this case), it can quickly be written off as just another get-rich-quick scheme by the naysayers. The eventual scammers looking to make a quick buck off the rubes and the ill-informed tend to hasten the demise of such idealistic endeavors, relegating the ideals to the scrap-heap of crazy ideas and crack-pot swindlers.  

As idealistic as I am, I also try to be a realist. So when I listen to these speakers, the reputable ones that is, I take in what they're saying knowing full well that it will require a butt-ton of work and determination on my part if I'm going to use their strategies to help me in my journey. You don't just push a button on your website and the money starts flowing into your coffers. It takes work. Every day. There is no easy path. And it takes time. Which brings me to the next step in my journey. Total immersion into the subject. 

Every day, at work and at home, I listened to these speakers. On my way to work in the morning, at work, on the drive home, after work, and while I slept. I soon got the idea of subliminal conditioning as well. So I looked on YouTube, and lo and behold, you can get subliminal messaging on just about any subject behind nature sounds or ambient music, or whatever you can find. I would play this overnight, AND in the background behind whatever speaker I was listening to at work. After about 9 months or so I noticed a change in the way I looked at the world. My perception and attitude was changing. I was starting to see more of the possibilities in the world around me,  and fewer hurdles. And the hurdles I did encounter started to get easier to overcome as well. They have become challenges to learn from rather than overwhelming and fearful monsters. Lessons to take with me in life that will help to keep me on my path.     

Over the next 5 1/2 years or so lots of things came and went in my life But I did decide on what I wanted out of my life, and I wrote it down. And I've been moving in that direction ever since. Progress has been slow, with some setbacks. Self-inflicted more than not, but I'm learning, ever iterating. I moved to Colorado from Illinois once my kids were old enough for me to, living with my brother and his family. The original plans when I moved were drastically changed because of the Covid-19 Pandemic, and living with family proved to be more challenging than I had anticipated. After 6 months, I moved to Albuquerque to room at a friend's house that needed someone as a renter until the first of the year, January 2021. That didn't work out. I left 2 months early. Not before totaling my car on the way to get a hitch to haul a trailer with my stuff. That was fun. I took the insurance money and bought a pickup truck and a 25-foot trailer. I headed for Arizona on the first of November. My Niece lives in Phoenix. I stayed there for 2 months getting used to RV living, staying at a County Park, and an RV Park on Lake Pleasant, North of Phoenix. My two cats got out the first night there, and the boy, Oliver, was killed and eaten by a predator. My cats were indoor/outdoor cats, but I failed to realize I was in a wild place. He was a white, long hair male on a clear moonlit night. He didn't stand a chance. My other cat, Mavis, survived. She is a ninja. Short-haired, charcoal-colored. I was devastated at his loss, but have moved on. 

I was back in Colorado for the holidays, repairs on my truck, and for my license plates for the trailer as well. I then headed to Lake Mead for a month to finish up my RV remodeling. I took out the Queen sized bed and made the bedroom an office/bedroom. I also removed one of the dinette booths and replaced it with a bench for storing shoes and boots and winter hats and gloves. I needed to streamline and make this rig my own. Now it is, and it's suited much better to my needs. Which is to be my online work from home space. 

I am currently in Southern California, and slowly getting into my new daily work schedule. It's not easy with the discipline, but I'm getting better. Sometimes it's just a switch I turn on or off in my head that will get me moving. But I don't always choose to use it for some reason.  It's kind of like getting an old engine started back up. It still works, but I think I mighta flooded it. And by flooded it, I mean procrastination. Not with the writing so much, but with the online work I've chosen for myself. The work I need to be spending 8 to 10 hours a day on right now. The work that will eventually be paying the bills. Total immersion. See that? Full circle baby! 

So that's where I'm at. The learning curve isn't too terribly steep, but it's pretty damn long. I've got a LOT to learn. But I will. And I will figure it out. Every day. Bit by bit.  ~ JVD   8^)

Bring back the Fairness in Broadcasting Doctrine, because white supremacist corporations are not people

 Thursday, March 4th, 2021

BRING BACK THE FAIRNESS IN BROADCASTING DOCTRINE, b/c WHITE SUPREMACIST CORPORATIONS ARE NOT PEOPLE

Today is the day that the QAnon people and hardcore Trumpers believe Trump will finally come to power and be the "legitimate" 19th President of these United States through some made-up theory based on supposed historic precedence. It's all bullshit. Pure "coo-coo for Cocoa-Puffs" (tm), kind of thinking by a manipulative, out-of-touch, and splintered Republican Party. They are a party without a center, held together by conspiracy theories and a misguided, deep-seated fear of anything from the Left. Their compulsion to "own the Libs" at just about any cost would be laughable if it wasn't so damaging to the American electorate. The Right is and has been for nigh on 40 years, chipping away at our democracy for the sake of holding on to power that is slowly slipping from their grasp. In the last two weeks alone, Republican-led legislatures across the country in more than two dozen states have presented over 250 pieces of legislation that would make it harder for people to vote. Which people you ask?  Why, that would be communities of color that would be affected the most of course. Could it be a coincidence that at the same time that the conservative party in this country is increasingly out of touch with the people because of their failed policies and obstructionism-at-all-cost strategies, that they are also trying to make it as hard as humanly possible for POC to legally vote because they know that if the majority of people do vote, Democratic candidates win? The plethora of voter suppression tactics employed by the Right just proves the point that they cannot win by their ideas. They can only win if they restrict the voting to only those people they know that will vote for them: white, hetero males. 

White Supremacy? Is that what I'm getting at? I'm sure that those on the Right will continue to attempt to Gaslight the American people into believing racism isn't so bad here, that it was actually Antifa that stormed the Capitol on January 6th, and the Democrats stole the election. They are precisely doing that, and the sad thing is, 68% of the Republican party believes all those lies. Which is not terribly surprising when you realize how they've been fed a steady diet of lies and misinformation from the GOP and their Right-Wing media propaganda machine for about the last 33 years. Ever since Reagan got rid of the Fairness Doctrine in Broadcasting in 1987. What is the "Fairness in Broadcasting Doctrine" you ask? Well, I'm glad you asked. What it did was to establish two forms of regulation on broadcasters: 1. to provide adequate coverage of public issues, and 2. to ensure that coverage fairly represented opposing views. Getting rid of the Doctrine opened the door to one-sided journalism and the rise of AM conservative talk radio that was not required to broadcast any opposing views. The listener was fed a steady, daily diet of right-wing propaganda that could be presented as news to the consumers without the pesky bother of providing opposing viewpoints that might distract the growing and loyal audience. Enter Rush Limbaugh and Fox News. Which led to the likes of Glenn Beck, Ben Shapiro, Steven Crowder, Alex Jones, Laura Ingraham, Bill O'Reilly, Dennis Praeger, Tucker Carlson, and a host of other far-right conspiracy spewing "Trumplican" sycophants.  

They are, without a doubt, the two biggest entities that fomented the rise of the ever-increasing fascistic tendencies of the Right. Cloaked in outrage and directed at the perceived immorality, and big-government overreach from the "Crazy Libs", they have slowly chipped away at our American democracy as they come to the stark realization that their party is increasingly losing support because of their one-sided view of the power structure in this country. They've blindly worked so hard to hold on to power with their Jim Crow-like, voter suppression schemes and policies, that they refuse to see the damage they've caused. This is a generalization, but, conservatives don't seem to see problems in society until they or their family are directly affected. But even that is in question in these days of conspiracy theories and misinformation on social media. When I listen to the speeches from the Right, I hear fear-mongering demagogues telling scary campfire stories to a lot of scared, angry, white people that have been persuaded to believe lies about their fellow Americans, and whatever else they can think of to cling to power. 

The answers to our problems as a country will be dealt with one way or another. I just would rather it be in a responsible and equitable manner that considers all sides of the issues as opposed to the Republicans' "Head in the Sand" policies. Let's face the long-term issues that go far beyond the next quarterly profit report. Let's start thinking about the good of the people, not the corporations. Because contrary to the Supreme Court ruling, corporations are NOT people. 

I'm sure this has been said by countless others throughout human history, but we really are living through scary and precipitous times. Not just politically, but if we don't start to align our politics with the reality of the state of the planet we live on, then we might just be another in a long line of species that have died out on this blue-green speck of a mote on a sunbeam in the endless sea of the Universe. It's time we start making the civilization we ALL deserve, not just the privileged few. 

Wait, how about those teeth and that credit? That last post didn't even have a title. What's going on here?

That's right observant readers! I never said what happened to my teeth or my credit. I am not with it yet, eh? I'm getting there. At least I noticed tonight, only about thirty minutes after posting the last title-less post. Sad.

So what happened was, I got in that terrible accident, and about a year later I got a settlement. With that settlement I fixed my teeth and paid off my debts. Most of them anyway. I've still got one hovering about. Sometimes I think I enjoy being miserable. Not that much though, because I'm far happier tippy tappy typing about on my laptop at home, than cooking at that hospital. Of course, getting paid for my writing will be much more beneficial to my well being than giving it away for free here on my blog. I need to write though. The only way to get better is by doing. I've done my research, so now I do. And learn.

Well, I suppose I could talk about these past few weeks. I've been home on a medical leave of absence from my job for the past almost 3 months. Complications from the car accident in my right leg. The vascular system is shot. I had some ulcerated sores on my right ankle that took forever to heal because of my condition. In the process of healing, I've come to the realization that I can no longer work a physical job. My body can no longer take the abuse. So currently I am trying to get on disability through work, get a new job through work, or just leave altogether and pursue this writing career.

After the first month or so, I started going for a walk every day for 30 to 45 minutes to get the ol' heart pumping. Also to keep myself occupied I've been finishing the inside of the house that I moved into over a year ago. My office is organized and fully functioning, my front closet is the same, and I've hung all of my paintings and art on the walls. Just a few more minor projects and the inside will be pretty slick my man. Slide me some skin.

After that, I'll finish up that mother-scratchin' garage biz-knee. Garage business. The framework is there, just gotta put all the pieces in place. It's all coming together now. Soon my truck will be in the garage. Bring on the snow old man winter, I'm not afraid of you. You can't kill me Unless I die of exposure or hypothermia, then you can kill me. But that's not going to happen because my truck will be in the garage. Ha. Suck on that Ice Queen. Gonna rock this town. Polar vortex ain't got nuthin' on my car hole.

I've kept busy, as you can plainly tell. Oh no sir, it's not sleepin' in time, and there's no dolphin waxing until at least after the lunch hour. I'm carving out a whole new paradigm for myself. I don't  know how long it'll take me to get to the point of self sufficiency, but  by God I will get there. I crave the freedom of working for me. I'm tired of making money for someone else.

Geez, listen to me gettin' on my high horse. It's just been a long time that I've been knocking myself out for an entity that could care less whether I'm there or not, alive or dead. I'm just happy to be working for me now. But like I said before, it's gonna take me some time and hard work getting to the point of making real money.  Plus, for the next blog, maybe I could write about something a little more interesting than me dropping out of the working world I knew to pursue a career in something that I, granted, enjoy, but am not a professional at. Which of course will come with time, just with anything. It's all good brah!  See you on the flippy floppy. Maybe next time we talk about pirates.No, robot pirates. That's a damn fine subject. It's settled then: butt  pirates tomorrow. Good night!

Knock, Knock...
...
..
Knock, Knock...
...hrmmm...
...
KNOCK, KNOCK

Hello!?!!

Knock, knock, not hello.

What?

It's a knock, knock joke.

Knock, knock?

Yes.

Who's there?

Precisely.

Precisely who?

What?

Precisely who? I'm playing your game.

You're playing my game?

Yes. Isn't that what you wanted?

Well,.., yes. Yes of course.

You hesitated.

No I didn't.

Yes you did, I heard it. Distinctly.

Distinctly?

Quite.

All right then, I did hesitate.

Why on Earth did you hesitate?

Well... it's not so much the joke as an alarm clock.

An alarm clock?

Quite.

Well, what pray tell might this alarm clock be for?
Precisely.

The alarm clock is for waking you up.
Precisely.

Is it now?

Yes, quite.

So, you're telling me that I have been asleep. Is that correct?

That is correct.

Ok. How long?

Look at the date of your last post here. You've been asleep since your last blog post.

I don't know how to find that.

I'm not surprised.

What?

Nothing, just go up top somewhere and look around. You'll stumble upon it soon enough.

Ok then. I'll get to that. First off though, who am I?

You're the writer.

I'm the writer?

Yes you are.

OK. Who are you then?

I'm the alarm clock.

You're the alarm clock?

Oh yeah.

I don't believe you.

Good. You shouldn't, and frankly if you hadn't just told me that I would have scrapped this whole project from the git-go.

So, you're not the alarm clock?

No, but it is a minor responsibility that somehow made it into the bylaws millenia ago, and I must fulfill all the duties of the office. So, for all intents and purposes, officially, yes I am the alarm clock.
Begrudgingly. Antiquated laws will add to the decline of this empire. But I digress.

So, you are the alarm clock, and something more.

Yes, something... more. Indeed.

What might that something more be exactly? You sound a bit ominous.

For now, that's for me to know, and you to find out.

OK then. That's great. Not creepy at all. Thanks for that.

     All right then, now that I'm awake, what is it I'll be writing about?

     Hello?

     Really? You're done?

     That's it? No mas? Yo quero alarm clock.
 
     Fine. That's how you want this collaboration to move forward? That's fine by me friend. I've got things to do. Places to go and write about. You come and go as you please. I don't give a rats ass. Ya freak.


Well then, as long as I'm awake, might as well get caught up. It's been some time since I last wrote an entry in this blog. Very long time. I have no idea how long, and don't know how to check it without turning this into a draft and confusing myself, so I'm going to guess it's been over 2 years since I last posted here. Probably over three. Maybe since  before my car accident. I don't know. I'll check later and let you know in a later post. I'm just going to assume it was sometime around the time of my accident.

Let's get caught up then. What say we start from the accident? Splendid.

The accident. It was the fourth of July, Two Thousand and Eleven, at 2:07 p.m. I was in the  Eastbound lane of rural two-lane IL highway 22, (speed limit 50 mph), heading home at 48-50mph after an uneventful day at work making food for the sick and the weary, and the patients as well. Within a  quarter mile of leaving the hospital parking lot, I came upon the intersection from whence the accident did occur from the right side, that is to say, from the South. She was a Westbound sedan, 4 door upper middle class brand with a 16 year old spankin' new driver just lookin' ta set off some holiday cheer with her friends no doubt! Oh the travesty. Oh the travesty indeed. For me. Not her. She walked away unscathed physically. I can only hope her view of my broken frame haunts her dreams for the coming decades. I was majorly fucked up.

Multiple broken ribs, lacerated liver, left lung punctured, fractured sternum, beat ta hell right kidney, spiral fracture of left ankle, fractured left fibula, fractured right tibia, and a shattered right femur.

8 1/2 months after the accident, I went back to work cooking at the hospital. With a compression stocking on my leg I could do my job. Quite well as per usual. But time and age work their magic on a busted leg and out you go. I am physically unable to continue the work I used to do to make a living. I can no longer be on my feet all day without the threat of continued damage to my leg. I'm done being on my feet. No more.

Currently I've been on a leave of absence from work until they can figure out if I am to be placed on disability leave, or job placement. Not sure which, kind of in the dark. Bureaucracy and such. Red tape, what-not.

Regardless of all that, I need to find something else to do, whether or not the company gets me a spot or not. It's time I started workin' for me, Jack! Let the chips fly where they may, I'm gonna let my freak flag fly free!!! Don't mess with Texas!!!

It's time to write. Write, write, write. What then? What shall I bring to the fore? Current events? All things blueberry? Shakespeare on the hound? Witty banter concerning current events? Cat talk? The sky's the limit I suppose. You are what you write. Is that what they say? I don't know. I'm guessing some form of this blog has already transpired somewhere and when on the web. Not the most original idea really. Someone else blogging about their career change, hoping to make a living by writing. On the web.

I've done some research over the past few days. It seems that it can be done. Don't fool yourself though. It is work. I won't bore you with the details here, as I'm not getting paid for this, and it's just my introduction back into this writing world.

I suppose I need an end for this beginning. I'm jumping off into the abyss, throwing my pen into the ring to at least make a living and pay the bills. It's easier than cooking, and might just pay better. I'm going to give it a go. Why on earth not. Life is far too short to be stuck in a job you hate. Do what makes you happy. Be. Find your joy. Well, it's a start. More tomorrow. 8^)

Ode to Jack La Lane, and Grandfather Ball

What an inspirational man Jack La Lane was. He got thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of bon-bon munching, depressed, fat-ass housewives off said fat-asses, and got them up and moving, getting in shape and motivating them to make a better pot roast for their husbands to come home to. Of course this was back in the '50's and 60's before women had jobs, or the vote, or the vim and vigor to get out there and earn 70% of what a man makes in the working world. But by God, they did it, and a few years later they got the women's liberation movement, and Gloria Stienem helped them make a big stink about every little thing, and now we're all finally equal. All due to Jack La Lane, a man, and his in home exercise system to get the ladies moving.
     But I don't want to talk about the ladies, I want to talk about exercising, and getting my fat-ass in shape so I don't end up a feeble, brain addled nincompoop, if and when I get to be an old man. If I have to get old and fall apart, I'd like it to be a little less painful than if I was 80 Lbs. overweight with onset diabetes, emphysema and cirrhosis of the liver, 'cause that's what I was lookin' forward to the way I was livin' my life. Of course livin' like that, I would have been assured not to make it to any ripe old age. Now at least I've got the chance, and I'll take it if I can. I've had my wake up call, (a.k.a.,second chance) luckily, and now it's time to make good on it.
     This coming weekend I'll be doing my fitness assessment with a personal trainer down at the gym. He'll get me set up on a plan to work away the pounds of flesh that I've accumulated lo these many years, and especially these last few months since I quit smoking. I know it's going to be rough, but I feel I've already laid a pretty good foundation so far this past month. I've got a good routine going so far, and have even upped my speed walking to actual jogging. I've been sweating profusely. It feels good, but I just haven't seen any real results as of yet. I think I'm just keeping the weight gain at bay, not actually dropping the pounds yet. So I'm looking forward to getting a plan in place and stepping up the workout to a whole...new....level. That will be for the running and the cornucopia of machines that are offered up at the gym. When it comes to swimming, I don't think those trainers know their breast-stroke from a hole in the ground,(that's what she said), but that's ok, I swam in high school, so I think I can figure that one out. It's been going quite well so far. Swimmingly you might say. HA!  I'm at about 1400 yards per workout after one month. Not too bad, but I do know how to swim correctly. Swim correctly you ask? Yes indeed, swim correctly.
     There is a technique to swimming in an efficient manner that will get you through the water with an acceptable amount of effort, and yield you a great amount of physical good. It's still a bit of work, but it wouldn't be exercise if there wasn't now would there? You don't want to stay fat and lazy forever do you? I'm not going to go through all the minutia of movements to a good freestyle stroke, but I will give you the basics to get you started. First you need a bathing suit, something form fitting that will reduce the amount of drag as you move through the water. I myself use a standard Speedo that you see the Olympic swimmers wearing like that dope smokin' Phelps kid that won all the gold medals, even more than Mark Spitz. I believe that when you're working on getting in shape, vanity has no place in the conversation. I might look a little funny, but that's ok 'cause I'm there to work. Let it all hang out baby. Next a pair of goggles will do you a world of good. Not only do they keep the water out of your eyes, but you can see quite well under water which keeps you on the right track, and occasionally lets you peer at the ladies in the other lanes surreptitiously as you're moving along. Not that I would do that mind you. Now, that's all that I use when it comes to equipment. Some folks like to use the form fitting wax like earplugs, or the nose-plugs to keep the water out. That is, if you're a pussy. Nothin' like a little snort of pool water up the nose to let you know you're alive, and build some much needed character I say. This country, and this current generation is entirely too coddled when it comes to inconvenience and making an effort to succeed  in my humble opinion. But then again, what do I know? Swim caps are only acceptable if you have long hair, so chicks and long haired dudes may use them. If you've got short hair, and you're using a swim cap, then yer a fag. No I don't mean a gay fag, I just mean a fag as in, "What a fag.", or when you look at the guy at work that kisses way too much ass, then you're a fag. It has nothing to do with your sexual orientation.
      Since I've been swimming at the gym for the past month, I've seen some pretty interesting accessories that people are using to reach their full potential. For example: various sizes of flippers from two inches past the toes all the way up to scuba size monsters that look like they weigh a whole lot more than I'm willing to strap on to my twinklin' little toes. No sir. (I said "strap-on"!)  Then you've got the scuba mask, webbed gloves and of course the snorkel for our short-breathed friends, all adding to the drag of the swimmer. I don't want it to be any harder than it has to be. Swimming isn't hard in the sense of the technical movement through the water, it's just the constant-ness and sense of plodding along, working so hard to keep it moving that is the drag. Breathing differently, suckin' down gulps of pool water, reaching further, kicking harder, pushing, pushing. Slappin' something else on my body to slow me down intentionally is not what I'm lookin' for. I'm like a naked dolphin, sliding through the waves. That's a pretty faggy thing to say. I get flashbacks of high school swim practice with coach Parsons overseeing our nautical progress, guiding our aquatic acumen from his poolside small fold out table with practice schedules and other swim related literature. He was a quiet, short and bald man with hair on the sides and back,(what do you call that?), sporting a full mustache, wearing the requisite coaches polyester gym shorts and usually a white polo shirt, doling out his brand of small town folksy wisdom and common sense to the young men that were called "Lakers".  
     It's been a couple of days since I last wrote on here, so I have now had the fitness assessment, and the guy picked out a basic workout for me on a host of weight machines. I've got a file with my workout sheet that I follow until I'm comfortable, then find another machine to add to or replace with the program. I'm not used to lifting weights though. It's a whole new experience, and discipline for me. Mind you I'm not going for the muscle bound lifestyle in any sense. That just ain't my thing. I just want to have enough muscle power to play the things that I like to play. A little stamina wouldn't hurt as well. Not that I have a problem with stamina, I'm not saying that at all. But compared to the 25 year old me, I wear out faster than I used to. Such is life.    
     There you have it for this edition, don't forget to brush your teeth, and pay your bills on time. Speaking of which, nothing of import to report on that front. Working on it, is the official statement at this time.
  

"Drag me towards that new technology, and pry my cold dead fingers off my turntable, would you son?"

I just bought a new cell phone this week. It's quite a dandy. It's not a "smart" phone, but pretty intelligent nonetheless. It's an LG Octane. OK, first of all, the name of the company is LG, which stands for "Life's Good". That's right, Life's Good. When did we start naming our companies like this? I'm guessing it started when online companies like Yahoo and Google got big and made so much money it didn't matter what a company called itself. But those are internet companies. The internet is new and funky and exciting and weird. It's supposed to have strange sounding company names. But a phone company? It just doesn't seem right. I grew up in the monopolized world of Bell Telephone, and International Business Machines, back when a business's name meant something by God. It told you who they were, and sometimes what they did. None of this feel good, hippy-drippy, let's all be friends and get along nonsense. NO! This is business. Let's all be sensible then shall we. We've got money to make. Bottom lines to draw, and ledgers to balance. We have no time for your happy names, your silly monikers.
      But that's the way it is, like it or not. The only constant is change. Roll with the flow or get run over. I've decided to roll with it myself. I got my first cell phone only about 3 1/2 years ago. Just a phone, no internet applications or mp3 player or movie player. It worked well enough. I've kept up with the national trend of getting a new phone about every 18 months or so. One phone I had to get because I dropped the old one in the tub with my kids. Because my credit is so shitty, I couldn't really enter into a contract with a phone company again, so I ended up buying one of those pay as you go phones that you can pick up at Wal-Mart. It worked well, but I knew that I was paying an exorbitant amount on it. I didn't know exactly how much until the last couple of months since I've been tracking my spending and keeping a budget on a website called Mint.com. It's pretty kick-ass. Here's a link if you want to check it out:https://www.mint.com/. It lets you make a budget with just about any topic you can think of, you keep track of your bank accounts and credit cards, savings and investments. It links up with all of your money institutions and gets your info to organize, and put it in order for you. You can set financial goals, track all of your spending and split your expenditures as well if need be. You can also look at your spending trends as well. I'm really diggin' it. I digress. So......since I saw that I was spending way too much on my little phone, I decided it was time to find a new one that cut down dramatically on my monthly bill, and I thought I might just be able to enter a contract with a major carrier now that I had a couple of years of paying my bills on a mostly timely manner.  I ended up going with Verizon for a couple of reasons: for one, I get a 22% discount on it through my work, and two, I'm pretty sure I still owe AT&T $150 or so. Not much of a choice at all really. I was all hopped up at first to get the smart phone, but when I found out what my ex pays for her non-smart phone, and that you can't get one without internet, I decided on something a little less flashy, and less costly. It's still a helluva lot more than what I was using though. It's got a great camera, which I really wanted, and which also can record video. You can download all kinds of music onto it too, which I'm doing as I write. Only about 10 songs on the phones internal memory, but you can get as much memory as you want with a removable memory card, which is about the size, and thickness, of my thumbnail. It's all so very exciting. I ended up buying the memory card today, then went to the library to borrow as many CD's as I could, and am ripping them to my computer so that I may then copy them to the card to put into my phone. I'm like a kid in a candy store! Great, now the music companies will be after me for stealing their music from the library. You just can't catch a break around here. Sheesh!
     Texting is not my forte, but now that I have a phone that makes it grammatically easier, I am much more open to the idea of it. I flip the phone open lengthwise, and it's got a full sized keyboard with all the punctuations, a space bar and the number keys up top. Then it's got a screen and speakers on the inside as well, so I can listen to an album, or a podcast while I'm texting away. Or maybe not, I haven't actually tried doing both yet. But it still kicks ass!
     Technology is a great confusing tool that takes me a little time to get used to, but once I do, it's a piece of cake. How did we ever live our lives without cell phones? How could we survive without constantly being in touch?  What was wrong with us? I'm sure my children will ask me that someday. I just hope I can raise them so that they don't feel dependent on technology for their every need and whim. They just need to get their asses out of the barco lounger and get outside.
     That's all for now. Kinda tame I admit, but I'm just not feeling that controversial right now. It'll come  back. Remember to pay your bills on time, and  brush your teeth.